god

let's say you've just created a universe... you've sculpted matter and energy and all the particles in between. you have designed a planet that perpetuates an impossibly detailed series of chemical reactions called life. eventually, you will birth a species of animal that will develop civilization, language, art, and frosted flakes. but you have plenty of time, billions of years in fact, and you're not quite ready for the headache of human drama. so you do what you, or any sensible god, would. you populate your little planet with GIANT REPTILE-BEASTS THAT FIGHT EACHOTHER. Even the plant eaters will be equipped with weaponlike body parts: spiked tails, battering ram skulls, horned faces. the carnivores will be suitably ferocious, and their incredible mass will mean they will have to snap their jaws around whatever they can, whenever they can, just to stay alive. put them on the same land mass, so none of them can get away, and you're watching THE battle royale of all time. and just why should i doubt the existence of god when we have scientific evidence of the ideal scenario for prehistoric entertainment?

God, you did what i would have done... except maybe my pangea would have had ninjas. you're a genius.
amen.